100 Words, 100 Theories (Sheldon Won't Shut Up)
by Manchester
Summary: The Pasadena guys land in Sunnydale sometime during the show's run, with their adventures set out in drabble form. Will our heroes survive life in this demon-haunted other California city?


"All right, first we need to discuss whether the time travel protocols from the _Terminator_ series apply here, or if following _Star Trek's_ Prime Directive is our best course of action-"

"Sheldon!"

In the dark street, Sheldon frowned at where his friends Leonard, Howard, and Raj were regarding this Caltech theoretical physicist with familiar disbelief. Sighing, Leonard tried again.

"Sheldon, we somehow got transported into _Buffy the Vampire Slayer,_ and _that's_ what you're worried about?!"

"Yes," blankly answered Sheldon. "Why would we be concerned regarding anything else?"

At the opposite alley, glowing yellow eyes appeared, followed by an unearthly growl.

* * *

"Damn, but they were fast," muttered Spike, ending his unsuccessful pursuit. He glowered after the escaping blokes a couple of blocks ahead and still sprinting. Giving another sniff to the air, Spike's nose confirmed he'd now been incredibly outrun by humans, no less, instead of a quartet of disguised demons. Uttering a disappointed snarl, the vampire went off to find someone slower to eat.

Raj panted to Leonard and the others matching his headlong dash, "Thank Ganesh nobody ever fixed the elevator at your place! Years of walking up four flights of stairs are the only reason we got away!"

* * *

"Oh, yeah!" enthusiastically chortled Howard at their table in the Bronze. "I'm gonna hit on Sarah, Alyson, Eliza-"

Shooting his horndog friend a very revolted look, Leonard grouchily pointed out, "Their characters were all underage in the early episodes, Howard!"

Taken aback at this scathing reminder, Howard slumped with genuine disappointment in his chair. However, he soon perked up while happily declaring, "Well, at least I can remember how Charisma and Mercedes will look in the future during their _Playboy_ nude pictorials those goddesses did in our dimension, because they were legal then!"

Leonard just rolled his eyes with exasperation.

* * *

Walking out the police station entrance shortly after dawn, Leonard complained, "Those cops were always totally incompetent on the show! Except instead they're doing a great job today, arresting us for trespassing at Sunnydale High!"

Raj reminded them all, "At least we got let go with only a warning and nothing else."

Any possible rejoinder by Leonard was interrupted by Sheldon's anguished whimpers.

Howard sympathetically told Sheldon, "Okay, we're outta there. You can find another bathroom now."

"I'm going to hold it forever," gritted Sheldon. "_Every_ single toilet seat here has undoubtedly been in contact with a demon's rear end!"

* * *

"Hello? First of all, Mr. Giles, thanks for accepting the charges. Now, we're calling- _Sheldon!_ Quit trying to grab the phone!"

"Leonard, I need to hear him to determine his exact enunciation! Anthony Stewart Head was from North London, yet his character used a high-class accent! With authentic proof at last, my contribution to the show's Wiki cannot be refuted by those idiots there in charge-"

"Who cares?! Be quiet and let me talk- _Hello?_ He thought it was a prank call and hung up! We'll never get him to listen to us now! I'm gonna kill you, Sheldon!"

* * *

_Tap! Tap! Tap!_"Leonard!"

"GO AWAY, SHELDON!"

"Hey, crammed here too in the telephone booth we're sharing, Leonard. Have a little consideration for my ears, will you?"

"Shut up, Howard. Okay, here's the M section- Nope, there's no Magic Box in the Sunnydale yellow pages."

"Damn. That lets out getting help from Anya. Not to mention Emma Caulfield was one very hot babe. The underwear scene from 'Once More With Feeling' was that episode's best part."

"Do the words 'thousand year old vengeance demon with serious hostility towards the masculine gender' mean anything to you?"

"I've always liked older women."

* * *

"You can actually get us home, Dr. Willy? That's fantastic!"

"Just Willy, kid. Always glad to lend a hand to other scientists. Here's the equations for finding your home dimension and doing the ritual that'll send you back. There's a vacant lot two blocks up where it can be done privately."

Leonard still couldn't resist asking another doctor of experimental physics, "Uh, how come you're running a demon bar instead of working at MIT or Princeton?"

Grumbling while tenderly touching the latest black eye given to him by the Slayer, Willy confided to his visitors, "Tenure here's a real killer."

* * *

Doing a depreciative chuckle under his breath, Sheldon scuffed clean the dirt where he'd been tracing on the ground with a stick. This sound attracted the other guys' attention where they'd also been finishing marking out the magical equations to return them to Pasadena.

Strolling over, Raj inquired, "What's so funny, Sheldon?"

"Merely a trifling error that only I could've caught," haughtily answered Sheldon. "Everybody ready? Let me put down the last symbol, and then it'll be just us teleporting home instead of the entire population of Sunnydale."

Before the rest could scream in horrified protest, Sheldon finished the spell.

* * *

"Hi, honey!"

"Penny." Relieved at learning nothing bad occurred due to visiting the Hellmouth, Leonard amiably greeted his girlfriend in the apartment doorway. "Going out?"

"Yeah," nodded Penny. "Do me a favor, please? Let the super in when he fixes my bathroom door."

"What happened?"

Penny shrugged. "Dunno. Had the weirdest dream last night, about some superstrong girl. Then, I flattened my alarm clock hitting the snooze. The bathroom door also came off its hinges, but that can't be my fault! Well, 'bye."

She promptly left, without noticing how white Leonard's face turned, to next moan, "The earth is doomed."


End file.
